I Didn't Leave You
by SabbyStarlight
Summary: After all the things that have happened in the past few weeks, Donovan's death sends Stiles over the edge. Not feeling that he can trust Scott and not wanting to add any more stress to the rest of the pack, he calls Derek. Turns out that a 3 am phone call that seemed like a really bad decision at the time may have been the perfect solution.


**Because after the last few episodes, I seriously needed a "Stiles calls Derek" moment and I am seriously missing Tyler. I'm not one of these girls who is sad he's gone because I miss him taking his shirt off every two seconds, I just miss him. I miss Derek being there to keep Scott in line, and the adorable bromance with Stiles, and I ship Derek and Braeden so hard I wanted to see it play out and I just miss him. So I took it upon myself to fix it.**

"...lo?" Derek's voice slolwly crawled through the telephone along with a yawn.

"Derek? Crap, it's like 3 am here. I didn't even think that you might be asleep. I didn't even know you actually slept. Sorry. I'll just hang up. Sorry agai…"

"Stiles." Derek's voice was alert now. "Are you okay?"

"Der? What's wrong?" Braeden's sleepy voice came through the speaker.

Stiles heard bed springs creaking and Derek's voice softening, telling Braeden to go back to sleep, that he would wake her if he needed her. He knew he should just hang up; Leave Derek and Braeden alone. They had gotten out of this crazy town, rode off into the sunset to live happily ever after. But Stiles was slightly freaking out, frazzled nerves boardering on a panic attack and he didn't have anyone else to call.

Scott and Kira had a date planned for earlier that evening, which meant she had stayed over and he didn't want to interrupt that. He wasn't even sure if he wanted Scott around right now anyway. Lydia was already dealing with enough stress to worry about him any more than she already did and Malia, well, who knew where Malia was. But she certainly wasn't there. With Stiles. When he needed her. That left him with Derek and Liam as his last resorts. He tried to tell himself that he chose Derek because at least Derek wouldn't fall in a hole on the way to his rescue, but in reality he knew that it came down to the fact that Derek wouldn't tell Scott anything.

"Stiles. So help me if you do not answer me right now I'm going to reach through this phone and strangle you." Oh. Derek had been talking. Whoops.

"How would strangling me help with the not talking thing?" Stiles tried to joke but he was pretty sure his voice cracked at least three times in the process.

"What's wrong? Why do you sound like your getting ready to have a full blown panic attack at 3 am?" That was Derek's alpha voice. Funny how it came right back to him after all these months away.

"I'm fine. Really. I shouldn't ha... have called. Things have just gotten a little crazy here and I… I don't know. I guess I just…" Stiles paused and tried to take a few breaths. "I guess I just needed to talk. About everything." He could feel heat rising up from his collar to his face. Maybe calling Derek wasn't the best idea. Maybe having to go pull Liam out of a hole would have been the perfect distraction for his stress.

"Okay. Talk." Derek ordered like it was the simplest thing. Like he hadn't been awaken by the crazed rambling of a panic stricken teenager.

"Where are you guys anyway?" Stiles asked, stalling. "Last we had heard you were in Nevada. Vegas is in Nevada, you didn't go and get married did you?"

"No Stiles I did not marry Braeden. But I do like her. A lot. And we are in Oregon right now. Quit stalling Wait, where are YOU? Please tell me you are at least safe at home."

"Yes, Sour Wolf. I'm home." The banter between the two of them still flowed so easily. And it seemed to be helping, Stiles could almost breathe now.

"Good. Now please tell me what's wrong?"

So Stiles took a breath and began. He told Derek everything. About the Dread Doctors and Tracy and almost loosing Lydia. Visiting Dr. Valek and no, they didn't see Peter but he wouldn't have wanted to see him anyway. How much he hated Theo and how Scott and the others didn't want to listen to him even though the guy was obviously evil. He told Derek about how scared he was for this year to end, how he didn't know how they could stay together as a pack living all across the country with they didn't even feel like one now in the same town. While he was spilling his guts he went ahead and added how close Lydia and Perrish had gotten and how he was worried that he missed his chance with the banshee; and how horrible he felt for thinking that when he had Malia but it's not like Malia cared anyway, he knew he was just her placeholder untill something better came along.

Derek didn't say a word through the entire speech. He was just a constant breath on the other end of the phone, keeping Stiles tethered to sanity.

Finally he got to the real reason he had called. The reason he was up at 3 am, and had been wide awake for the past four 3 am's.

His voice went whisper quiet and he shut his eyes as he said "And I killed someone, Derek. I. Killed. Someone. He was like, your age, had a whole life ahead of him and and I...I ended it. I took away someone's son. Or grandson. Nephew, cousin, boyfriend, best friend. I killed him." Shudders were wracking his voice and tears were leaking from his closed eyes. "I stopped any future he had. All the things he could have done, I took that away. I made everyone that loved him feel the way I did when my Mom died. I killed someone."

"What happened?" That was all Derek had to say. No judgement or gasp of horror, no exclimation of disguest or probing list of long questions asking Stiles to relive every second. Simply a "What happened?" Of course. Derek had literally been in this exact position. He knew what it was like. Maybe he had been the right person to call after all.

So Stiles explained. He told him all about Donovan, from beginning to end and again Derek listened silently. He waited untill Stiles got to the part about someone stealing the bodies before he spoke.

"Two questions: One, is your shoulder okay? You said he bit you. With his hand. That's not normal, Stiles. You need someone to check it out. And two, do I need to go into the lecture about it being self defense? Or as the sherrif's son do you already know that?"

"My shoulder's fine. Sore, but it'll be alright. But if it will make you feel better I can have Deaton check it out when he comes back." He rolled his eyes as he used his shirt to dry the spilled tears. " And yes, I know it was self defense. It's weird. He wasn't a good person, I'm not upset that he's dead. It's just, he was still a person, ya know? And now, because of me, he's gone."

"Look at it this way," Derek began. "If it had been me he was chasing, had already injured me, and was killed while I was trying to escape, would you blame me for his death? Of course not." He answered himself. "But your right, he was still a person. He had a family and people who loved him. He wasn't a good person, but he was a person. Taking a life isn't something anyone takes lightly. And take it from someone who knows, the first time it happens, it sticks with you. That's something I had hoped none of you would ever have to experience. But the fact that it happened isn't something you can hate yourself over. Mourn his death. Mourn your loss of innocence. But don't hate yourself for doing what you had to do to stay alive.

"Everyone is going to look at me like I'm some kind of monster when they find out." Stiles whispered.

"By everyone do you mean the werewolves, kitsunes, banshees and werecyotes?" Derek asked. "What is it that Lydia always says?"

"Not all monsters do monsterous things." Stiles answered automatically.

"Exactly. If he hadn't been chasing you, if he wasn't trying to kill you, if he hadn't hurt you first, would you have laid a hand on him?" Derek questioned.

"No! I mean, he was a jerk with an attitude and a drinking problem but I never would have…"

"Exactly." Derek interrupted. "You did what you had to do, you reacted in the heat of the moment, and by doing so you are still alive. Not your fault he died in the process."

It sounded so simple when Derek laid it all out like that. So black and white. Was it really that simple?

"You still there?" Derek asked softly.

"Yeah. Just thinking that maybe your right."

"Of course I'm right." Derek answered, and Stiles could hear the smirk in his voice. "Feeling better?"

"Actually yeah." Stiles replied, surprised by the truth to the words. "I actually feel like I can breathe again."

"Good. When was the last time you slept, Stiles?" Concern etched its way back into Derek's voice.

"Umm… It's been a while." There was no point in hiding things from the older man now.

"Go to sleep. Now. Lock your window, turn off the computer and the lights and sleep. In your bed, not at your desk. You need rest." Stiles could tell that this wasn't a suggestion, but an order, and with all the help Derek had given him tonight, he felt he owed it to him to comply.

"K. I will. Night Derek." Stiles said, a yawn beginning to climb up his throat. "Thanks."

"Not a problem." Derek answered and Stiles could tell by the smile in his voice that he had heard the yawn.

Stiles went to hang up the phone but before he pressed the end call button he heard Derek's voice.

"And Stiles?"

"Yeah."

"The next time you need me, don't wait around and let it build up like this again. I don't care what time it is, what your interrupting, no excuses, you call. You call me." This was another order.

And then in a softer tone, "I left town. I didn't leave the pack. Espcially not you, Stiles."

Before Stiles could come up with a reply, or an excuse for the new tears making tracks down his face, the phone call was ended and he was left with nothing but static on the line.

Yeah, Stiles thought as he crawled between his sheets. Calling Derek had been the right choice.


End file.
